Daryl McConnell

Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup. It's a strange thing. Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do. With breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they certainly don't become easier to go through. You ultimately end up in the position of wanting to get back an ex.

Most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern. When you first meet someone everything is wonderful. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. Comfort then sets in. You adjust to each other. This is when things begin to change. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.

If you believe that the relationship is worth fighting for, you need some answers on how to get back an ex.  Here are four steps you can take.

1.Say sorry

Saying you are sorry is one of the best methods to get back an ex.  It's often the most effective first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. Remember, knowing what to apologize for is critical.

Whatever you do, when you apologize don't fall into another argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If your ex does bring something else up, don't get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.

2.Sit down and talk

If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk. Whatever you do, keep your emotions in check. Don't beg, plead or cry. If they don't want to, then just go to step 3. If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isn't the time to get into a fight again. 

You want to talk objectively about the issues. Talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame and you'll get better results. 

3.Give some space

This may seem counter-intuitive to how get back your ex. Remember, just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do.

A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't have the chance to miss you.

4.Show them you care about yourself

Prove to them that you still care about yourself. You won't succeed if you're desperate and clingy. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall. Whatever, just go and live your life.

Ultimately, if you want to get back an ex, it's actually better if you're not there when your ex calls. This leaves them wondering what you're doing. If you're out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it. Let the call go to voice mail and call them back the nex day. Tell them you were busy. This will probably shock them and may even get them to pursue you again.

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